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This pledge was originally coined by Roger Ebert at the Conference on World Affairs at the University of Colorado in 1996.

Last month my mother in law Carole died.

This was not unexpected by any of us, but it still hurts.  I miss her, and it catches me off guard at the strangest times.  The world is a darker place without her light in it.

The bestest part: They had a TON of little baby rheas running around. OMG. Looky here:

Baby Rheas!
More Baby Rheas!
TONS of Baby Rheas!

There were also ostriches, llamas, yaks, wildebeasts, bison, emus, deer, other deer, and watusi.

You can see the rest of the photos from this trip at http://www.birdbrained.org/wordpress/albums/safari2006

“In the first place we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the man’s becoming in very fact an American, and nothing but an American…There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn’t an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag, and this excludes the red flag, which symbolizes all wars against liberty and civilization, just as much as it excludes any foreign flag of a nation to which we are hostile…We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language…and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people.”  — Theodore Roosevelt, from a letter to the President of the American Defense Society, January 3, 1919.

Damned right.

Woo!

The ceremony itself was fairly simple, yet at the same time it felt sort of overcomplicated. 8:30 in the morning, I show up to check in. They have me sign my certificate of naturalization (oh god, they actually put the photo I submitted with the application ON the certificate. I asked the nice Clerk if I could photoshop it first, but she said they sort of frown on that. Dammit.)

After I check in, I think I’m going to get naturalized. Nah. Come back at 10:30. *blink* We (oh, sorry, that’s me, the Cactus, Carole and Roberta. My dad was supposed to come in from Canada for the big show, but his connecting flight was cancelled due to weather so he didn’t make it.) go upstairs and find a cafeteria to have some breakfast. The cafeteria was okay, the staff friendly. The food itself was unremarkable.

The appointed hour finally drew near, and we went back downstairs to the courtroom. They split us up - I couldn’t sit with my family. All us furriners were seated together in a group, and then the court was called to order. A little pomp and ceremony, an oath, and the deed was done. Now I can vote and serve on a jury. (Speaking of which, I registered to vote right after the ceremony, and I’ve got an appointment to get a passport too.)

Now that over 2 years of waiting is over, I sort of don’t know what I should be looking forward to next.

Thank the feathery gods.

Looks like my sister and father are going to try to attend, which is awesome.

2. The acting is horrendous. I’ve seen better acting from 6 year olds lying to avoid punishment.

3. The ending. Dear god, the ending. I’m of two minds about the ending - on one hand, it was good.. Because it was the end, and it meant the crapfest was over. On the other hand, it sucked the sweat off a dead man’s bag; yes, it was really that bad. I realize having a “twist” is the trendy thing to do in movies these days, but at least have your twist make sense!

4. Continuity. I don’t just mean the truck window that breaks and is then magically repaired for the rest of the movie; the characters themselves are inconsistent. While being attacked by the fog, they are terrified and desperate to get away. Later, they need to go somewhere and have no qualms about walking around in the fog. The ghosts kill SOME of the descendants of the Founding Fathers, but not ALL. They make a big deal about the contract, then leave after they get the girl instead.

As you may have guessed, I hate this movie. It’s getting late, so I’m stopping now otherwise I’ll be up ranting all night the more I dissect this steaming turd of a film. If you liked “The Fog”, may I also recommend:

A) “House of the Dead”, and
B) A kick to the nuts; it’s people like you who let Hollywood get away with this.

I think I’m actually all better now, it’s just a matter of convincing my abused digestive tract that it is indeed back to normal. I can scarcely bring myself to eat anything, let alone a “meal”. I have only one positive thing to note: I just got out of bed (at 6 in the evening, no less) and looked in the mirror. I said to myself “I look like shit” instead of moaning and complaining about how I *feel* like shit. Isn’t that the first sign that you’re returning to the land of the living? Worrying about your appearance?

My wife the Cactus has been nothing short of spectacular. I could have survived without her help, sure, but I would have been easily 50 times more miserable. She is a saint. Thank you, sweetheart. I love you.

Poor Buddy had some egg nog containing some raw, unpasteurized eggs. Buddy is now sicker than that donkey show you hear about in Tijuana. I’m sorry someone I know is sick, but at the same time… I am getting sheer evil delight.

I TOLD YOU SO!!!