I just watched the unrated DVD of “The Fog”. On the back of the box, it says “Copy Protected”. I wondered just how they managed to copy protect the content. Now that I’ve seen the movie, I realized the content WAS the copy protection - nobody is going to copy this crap. Just how bad? Read on for more.. (Spoiler alert - not that it matters a damn bit)
1. The characters are mentally retarded. When knocking on a door and noticing the door is padlocked from the outside, one would probably think nobody was home. Nope; she keeps banging on the door and yelling. While on a boat where violence has occurred and at least one dead body is found, by all means split up and go below deck alone to investigate a sound. While commenting that the fog is too thick and you can’t see, drive at least 90 miles per hour and crash into a boat (which is in the middle of the road)

2. The acting is horrendous. I’ve seen better acting from 6 year olds lying to avoid punishment.

3. The ending. Dear god, the ending. I’m of two minds about the ending - on one hand, it was good.. Because it was the end, and it meant the crapfest was over. On the other hand, it sucked the sweat off a dead man’s bag; yes, it was really that bad. I realize having a “twist” is the trendy thing to do in movies these days, but at least have your twist make sense!

4. Continuity. I don’t just mean the truck window that breaks and is then magically repaired for the rest of the movie; the characters themselves are inconsistent. While being attacked by the fog, they are terrified and desperate to get away. Later, they need to go somewhere and have no qualms about walking around in the fog. The ghosts kill SOME of the descendants of the Founding Fathers, but not ALL. They make a big deal about the contract, then leave after they get the girl instead.

As you may have guessed, I hate this movie. It’s getting late, so I’m stopping now otherwise I’ll be up ranting all night the more I dissect this steaming turd of a film. If you liked “The Fog”, may I also recommend:

A) “House of the Dead”, and
B) A kick to the nuts; it’s people like you who let Hollywood get away with this.